So, yesterday, in case I start chemo tomorrow, my family (My mom, my dad, and my brother) and I went out to my favorite restaurant to have a good meal (Spoilers: It was amazing, just as expected). Pictures of the food will come later, when I can get on my desktop to resize them so I can upload them here, to the blog.
Today, I was doing something that my doctor told me I shouldn’t do – look up information about NK Cell LGL Leukemia or Lymphoma online. Oops. But I found some useful information, especially from an article from the journal Blood (Seems more a journal for vampires, rather than hematologists, but whatever) from 2011 – I forget the name of the doctor who authored the article, but it was titled “How I Treat LGL Leukemia” I believe. From that, I gained some useful information, such as: If an oral chemotherapy drug does not work within four months of starting it, it is considered a failed treatment. If it works within four months, chemo will last for 6-12 months (Whether it is 6-12 months more or 6-12 months on top of the 4 months already conducted is a mystery to me) – so I now know a little bit more about what I have (I keep wanting to call it cancer, but I think the doctor is right with his mindset that it should be referred to by its name – I just need to think of a good shorthand for it. Any ideas?).
Tomorrow, my aunt should arrive at my house at around 11 AM and then will drive my mom, my brother, and I into New York City, then my dad will meet us at the office (as he works in NYC) for the long period of waiting that we will have to endure (He is double and triple booked the morning of my appointment, yay).
So tomorrow, expect an update about me, most likely detailing what I have – either NK Cell LGL Leukemia or NK Cell LGL Lymphoma, and maybe when I will start chemo, and what is going on with that.
Now, osme of you may wonder, “How do you feel?”
If you were to ask me in person, I would most likely say “Well, do you mean physically or psychologically?”
To the former, I would say “Well, currently I feel a bit of pain in my back (It is difficult to get comfortable when you have been lying on a couch for almost 30 days – only getting up to go to the bathroom or go to bed), my hip is a bit stiff, and I feel a bit tired (Yay, fatigue!).” I’d take a nap, but I have to be asleep early enough to wake up at 9 AM (as I like to wait an hour after waking to eat, otherwise my stomach gets unsettled).
To the latter, I might say “Honestly, I feel nothing. I am sort of ambivalent, really. I’ve had so much medical stuff hapen to me in my life that this is just another medical rarity/mystery/enigma to occur. Of course I get the super rare cancer, I never get anything simple.” Honestly, I find it sort of humorous, in a dark comedy kind of way. But to tell the truth, if you are someone reading this blog facing a big medical issue, like cancer, or disability, for the first time in your life, here’s my trick to staying so upbeat: No matter what has happened, there are still good things out there, so don’t lose hope. Think about all the things you might miss out on if you just up and gave up – some things I like to think about are my favorite TV shows (Two of my favorites? Game of Thrones and Person of Interest), video games that I enjoy or am looking forward to, movie franchises that I enjoy or am looking forward too, or all the friends I have made online who would be, or other things important to me. So if you are feeling down, just think of things that you like.